


The Holy Knight Song

by ShayMcSudonim



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Legend of the Sun Knight
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody, The Lumberjack Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayMcSudonim/pseuds/ShayMcSudonim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After he'd been catapulted unceremoniously off the side of a cliff, the Pope of the Church of Light landed with a thud and laboriously crawled across the trench he'd fallen into. He nearly collapsed in surprise as he gazed into the distance, whispering, "It's—"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before I found Prince Revolution, I read a different translation that listed the Sun Knight's name as 'Creus Sun' rather than 'Grisia Sun'. And 'Aldrizzt' was 'Alistier'.

"I have chosen my successor," the Sun Knight told his group of prospective apprentices.

Creus sighed. It was going to be Roland, no doubt about it. He'd known this unhappy day was coming, and yet it was still crushing to realize he'd hardly see his friend after the ceremony.

"Roland," said the golden-haired leader of the Twelve Holy Knights, August Sun. "Congratulations. You shall be the 38th generation Sun Knight."

The small child smiled, and nodded. "Thank you, teacher," he said.

Creus fixed a smile on his face as he went over to congratulate Roland on a job well-done. The twelve apprentice Knights would be extremely busy from here on out, and the young apprentice priests, whom Creus would be joining, trained in the more distant monasteries, even if they did have more free time.

Who would Creus spend time with after this? Who would he find to harass his enemies for him or buy him desserts? Creus was happy for Roland, he really was, but it was depressing to think the two of them would never again be as close as they'd been these last few weeks.

Still, no point fretting over what was done.

As soon as was polite, Creus left Roland and his press of admirers to go pack his stuff for the trip out to wherever he was assigned.

In fact, the young boy was just debating about how much sympathy he could plausibly gain from the kitchens (in order to supply him sweets for the journey ahead), when he noticed a figure wearing a hooded priestess' robe blocking his path.

"Hello, Creus," said a soft, but unmistakably male, voice.

"Hello," said Creus. If a transvestite had gone to the trouble of learning the name of the least-likely Holy Knight candidate, Creus wasn't about to give the stranger the satisfaction of asking how he knew it. Probably they just wanted to mock him...

"Shame August didn't choose you," continued the cross-dresser, gazing off into middle distance. "You'd make the best Sun Knight out of the lot of them."

Creus remained silent.

"...but I suppose it's his loss," said the figure. "And who am I to question providence?"

Finally, the man turned his full attention to the child before him. "I suppose you're going to join a priesthood now?" he asked, removing his hood.

"Yes—" Creus started to say.

And then he stopped.

The man before him looked very much like a Sun Knight (who, admittedly, looked an awful lot like a woman): blond hair, blue eyes, and a smiling face... though his expression was anything but reassuring.

But he wasn't. No Holy Knight carried that many knives in plain sight. The God of Light only knew how many concealed weapons the man had...

"I am Neo," said the man, giving him a calculating look.

"You know," he continued, after a moment's pause, " People never suspect pretty boys or women of being capable of violence, and you'd be able to pass as either one. You'd make a phenomenal Holy Assassin."

"Would I?" asked Creus.

"You most certainly would," said the man. "That's why you're coming with me to the Ankh Morpork Monastery."

"Do I have a choice?" asked Creus.

"Of course," said Neo, "but why would you go anywhere else? If you become my student, you'll become apprentice to History's Strongest Holy Assassin. You'd find it much easier than being a Holy Knight: no swordsmanship required."

Creus perked up at that. Perhaps losing to Roland hadn't been such a bad turn of fortune after all. "When do we leave?" he asked.

* * *

Fifteen years later:

"Pink, where's that talisman you promised me?"

"Hmm?" asked the corpse of a little girl, not looking up from her crystal ball. "What was that, Creus?"

A young man with serious eyes overturned one of her trunks and began to rummage through the pile he'd created from its contents. "The Dragon's St. Brigadine," he explained, "you said you'd give it to me, once I figured out that riddle about geodesy."

"And what is the answer?" asked Pink, her eyes glued to her stories.

"Two months, seven milestones, and a cow."

"Hmm." agreed Pink. "You got it. I'll find the badge for you later."

"Later? I've been trying to solve that thing for _months_ and—just what are you watching?" asked Creus, when he saw that the necromancer was ignoring him.

"Interdimensional cable," said Pink, "Learned about if from the Librarian; if you bribe the space-time repairman, it'll get you an illegal hook up; Earth has the best TV in the universe," she said, her voice something of a disinterested monotone.

Against his better judgment, Creus found himself interested.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to a square object he could see in Pink's crystal ball.

"That's a television," she said, "it's what people who aren't magically inclined use to watch TV."

"Interesting," Creus considered that for a moment. "There's a screen for viewing," he said, trying to reason things out, "and there's a penguin for—"

BOOM.

"Not anymore there isn't," said Pink.

* * *

When Creus next looked up from the glowing glass orb, he realized he'd been in Pink's house for several hours. Shaking his head, he excused himself. He still had a job to do, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

In the Oblong Office, facing Lord Vetinari, there stood a man of unremarkable height, weight, complexion, and features. As a former thief, this appearance had been invaluable to him, as his looks had provided him a blank canvas on which any disguise would look natural; if unadorned, he'd looked like no one more than 'passerby number 25'.

Creus, on the other hand, was resplendent in the set of silver scale-armor he'd finally pried off of Pink. The suit covered the lower part of his face and altered his hair color, doing a good job of masking his identity, and making him look more like an Assassin. Blond hair had never been very intimidating, anyway.

"... of course you're free to refuse, Mr. von Lipwig," Lord Vetinari was saying. "I have no problem with it. Neither does Mr. Sun, here,"

Moist von Lipwig's eyes darted to Creus, who stood at Vetinari's shoulder.

"'Mr. Sun'?" asked Moist, silently thinking that he'd never seen a less bright individual.

"Ah, this is Dark Sun," explained the Patrician, "He was valedictorian of his class at the Assassin's Guild, and will have absolutely no hard feelings if you find yourself too busy to take over collection of Ankh Morpork's taxes."

Moist twitched.

"Even if you don't take the job, you have no need whatsoever to worry about Mr. Sun making your life a living hell," reiterated the ruler of Ankh Morpork.

Moist started to smile a small, terrified smile. "He won't do horrible things to me if I refuse the job?" he asked.

"Of course not," said Vetinari.

"He won't come after me even if I leave the country?" Moist asked.

"There will be no resentment whatsoever," confirmed Vetinari.

"Where do I sign up?" asked Moist.

* * *

After the rather abrupt departure of Ankh Morpork's newest taxman, Creus made to leave as well.

Though they were employee and employer, the Holy Assassin and Vetinari still had a relationship of mutual respect—one chessmaster could always appreciate the work of another—but they were not friends, by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, Creus was curious about something, so, before he reached the office door, he stopped and looked back at the Patrician.

"'Dark Sun'?" he asked.

"Feel free to change it," Vetinari said, his tone nothing but genial, "However, for a Sun Knight candidate turned Assassin, it seems rather fitting, does it not?"

Creus thought it over. "I suppose," he said. "Though, a flamboyant name can often cause your opponent to underestimate you. Currently, I'm leaning towards, 'Supreme Dragon'."

"Or perhaps, 'The Undying Man'" suggested Vetinari. "It offers a challenge to the foolhardy."

The despot of Ankh Morpork turned over one of the papers on his desk. "By the way," he told Creus, "you're more than welcome to take the next month off of work."

The Assassin paused, recognizing the Patrician's words as the closest thing Vetinari would ever give him to a 'heads-up' that something interesting was happening, then he nodded. "Many thanks," Creus said, just before closing the door.

* * *

Several minutes later, Creus returned to the monastery. There, his teacher had grilled him on what he'd learned from his necromancy professor that day. Creus replied that he'd learned to recognize different trees from quite a long way away.

Needless to say, Neo had been rather suspicious of such an answer. However, when his student had been able to identify a potted Larch in the Omnians' courtyard sanctuary from a distance of six blocks, Neo had been forced to accept his pupil's words. After all, there were more important matters to discuss.

"We've received a message from Sprouting Leaf," Neo informed him.

"A letter from Roland?" asked Creus, remembering Vetinari's veiled hint and suspecting the message was related.

As far as the Sun Knight was concerned, he and Creus had seen each other a grand total of twice since they'd parted ways fifteen years ago, but they still wrote to each other on a bi-monthly basis.

"Yes," admitted Neo, handing Creus a thick envelope, "but also a summons from the King of the Kingdom of Forgotten Sound. He's on a diplomatic mission to see the Elves, and he wants an Assassin along as both protection and a potential weapon."

"He's not bringing any Holy Knights?" asked Creus.

"Actually," said Neo, "he's bringing all twelve of them." The Assassin's lip curled a bit in disgust.

Creus merely nodded. "And being the fat pig of a King he is, he just doesn't feel secure without an Assassin."

"Exactly, my student. Would you like to go see Roland again?"

"Honestly?" said Creus, "I'm not sure I want him to see me like this. When I last knew Roland, we were both young and innocent. Now he's a Sun Knight and I'm... well, I'm your student."

And Neo knew his student well.

"Allow me to rephrase," said the teacher. " _Are_ you going to see Roland again?"

Creus grinned. "Hell, yes!"

* * *

Roland Sun surveyed his comrades with a gentle smile.

Eleven Holy Knights glared at their King with murder in their eyes.

"Now, now," said the Sun Knight. "I'm sure His Majesty didn't mean to insult us—" though his eyes were a bit tight.

Metal Knight, who didn't have a benevolent image to maintain, scoffed. "What else could he possibly have meant? Not only does 'His Majesty' insist on bringing all of us on a mere diplomatic mission—an act unprecedented—but he suggests that we, the Holy Knight Captains, are incompetent."

"Peace, Metal," said Judgment, "Don't interrupt Knight Captain Sun."

To innocent ears, it was an innocuous enough comment. However, one who knew Judgment might notice that he had done nothing to reprimand Metal for insulting the King.

"An Assassin," Earth shook his head, murmuring. "Bastard King actually wants to bring along—"

"Enough!" thundered the King. "I am the ruler of the land and you are my Knights and I will not tolerate such disrespect!"

Finally, there was silence, though now Roland was a bit miffed that he'd been yelled at. After all, as far as the King could tell, he'd wanted nothing more than to help him.

"This is Creus," said the King, gesturing to the empty air beside him.

A second later, a figure fell from the ceiling to land gracefully beside the King.

"He's a Holy Assassin, trained at one of our more distant monasteries," the monarch continued.

Roland's eyes flashed in recognition, but he held his tongue. The Sun Knight was the embodiment of light and goodness. Friendship with an Assassin wasn't something he could openly acknowledge.

Likewise, Creus showed no sign of recognizing Roland. Neo was very insistent that Assassins maintain intimidating personas, and being friendly with a Holy Knight of the good, warm faction most certainly wasn't in keeping with that image. If his teacher found out he'd let such a fact get out, he'd flay him.

The other Holy Knights saw only a man clothed in a loose black cloak. His hair was black with silver highlights and longer than the average woman's, though this added to rather than detracting from the intimidation factor.

"Creus is the one I've chosen to accompany our party on the diplomatic mission," the King explained.

At that moment, Creus, who had once hoped to be Creus Sun, gained the enmity of all the Holy Knight Captains, save one.

* * *

The next day, they were out on the road, and the Assassin had disappeared the moment they'd entered the forest.

"He's following us from cover of the shadows," explained the King.

"No he's not," Judgment confided to the cruel, cold faction. "Before he left, the Assassin muttered something about 'going to take a nap' and that he'd 'catch up with us later'."

None of them said it, but all were thinking, 'this is a Holy Assassin?'

Still, none of the Knights were about to tell the King what they'd discovered, so Judgment and his men rode along in silence.

Meanwhile, the good, warm faction were making conversation amongst themselves.

Well, most of them were.

'Creus', thought Roland. 'Where on the Disc could he be?'

"Roland wouldn't make me do that again!" Leaf protested, breaking Roland's reverie. "Would you, Sun?"

"I'm sorry, Leaf," Roland said kindly, "I was just meditating on the God of Light's benevolence. What were you saying?"

"That you wouldn't make me do any more missions like the last one!" Leaf insisted. "I realize it was important, but please, Roland? I have my pride, at least..."

"Of course, Leaf," said the Sun Knight, recalling that Leaf's last mission had been to infiltrate a nunnery while looking for agents of the Church of Chaos. This, of course, had required him to assume an... unobtrusive disguise. And the other Knights had never let him live it down.

"Next time, we'll send Blaze," said Roland, absently wondering what Creus was doing, "I'm sure he'd look lovely in a habit." After that, Roland stopped paying attention to the argument and good-natured mockery going on in the background.

Sometime during this trip, he really did want to talk to Creus. It had been much too long since they'd last seen each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Nearly as soon as Creus started making his way back, after a well-deserved nap, to where the King and his entourage had made camp, the Earth Knight found him.

"Th-the King requires your assistance," he said, trembling like a schoolgirl confronted by a rabid dog. Earth's eyes, however, had the slight sheen of resentment in them: probably anger at being forced to act the part of a messenger.

Creus inclined his head, and gestured for the hypocrite Holy Knight to lead the way.

* * *

When they entered the King's presence, Creus saw that they were in the midst of taking the noonday meal.

Conscious that all eyes were on him, Creus walked just quickly enough to make his black cloak billow, before sweeping an elegant bow as he reached the King.

"Hello, Creus," said the monarch.

"Your Majesty," answered Creus.

"We captured a Dark Elf, and the creature has tried to escape," explained the King. "I want you to kill it. It's tied to a tree underneath a wasps' nest a few meters into the woods."

Creus' eyes sparked with mischief, and he took a moment to call upon his silliest powers before saying,"Right, I'll commence in a moment," and summoning a dagger.

"What would you like me to do?" Creus asked, giving the King the impression that he was rather simple-minded.

"Oh, just kill him," said the King.

"How do I do that?" asked Creus, tilting his head to the side.

"Oh, just take the knife and stab him through," said the King, still in a good mood.

"It's not a torturous death, is it?" Creus wanted to know.

"No need for it," assured the King.

"It's just... execution," said Creus. Was that a hint of reluctance in his voice?

"Yes," confirmed the King.

"You wouldn't rather have him maimed, would you?" Creus asked.

"What?" asked the King.

"You wouldn't rather forget all about it?" Creus repeated.

"No, I want him killed," said the ruler of the Kingdom of Forgotten Sound, starting to become annoyed.

"Right, I'll get ready," the Assassin perked right up. "Dark Elves can only be killed by light element magic," he explained, "so I need a few minutes to replenish my stores. In the meantime, perhaps Your Majesty would like to resume your meal?" Creus gestured to the feast in which the King and Knight Captains were partaking.

Then, turning on his heel, Creus stalked off into the woods until he was standing near the prisoner. Absently, he untied the Elf, and sat down to think.

The Dark Elf, Alistier, thought that the mage must be a very powerful one, indeed, if he was confident enough to be undoing his bindings, as though the magically enforced ropes made no difference to the human. Alistier waited to see what would happen next.

"Assassin," said a servant, coming up behind him with a tray of food, "would you like something?"

Creus started slightly, but covered it quickly, saying "Yes, yes yes, Thank you," and taking the plate offered to him.

Once the servant was gone, the Assassin handed the plate to the Elf, and kept thinking.

Creus massaged his temples with one of his hands.

Then, he sliced the Elf's arm with his knife, causing Alistier to drop the platter.

Creus walked quickly over to the King, brandishing the knife.

"Finished!" he said.

"What?" asked the King, starting to think that bringing the Assassin along was more trouble than it was worth.

"I executed the prisoner," explained Creus.

"you haven't started," the King protested.

"I have. I did it very quickly," insisted Creus.

"Look here," said the King, "I know when my subordinates have killed someone and when they haven't. So will you please stop fooling around and get on with it?"

The Holy Assassin gave a sigh.

"Yes... I will, Your Majesty."

Creus began walking back towards the woods.

"I'm going to kill the prisoner," he announced, as he reached the woods' edge. "Going to kill the prisoner," he repeated, when he got back to the tree to find the Dark Elf had fled. "Start killing... now!"

Sounds that were vaguely like torture came from the woods and floated to where the King and the knights were eating. Eventually, Judgment Knight thought something seemed off and went over to see what was wrong.

"What's going on?" Lesus Judgment said, as he saw the Elf was nowhere in sight.

"He's still alive." the Knight realized.

"All right, I'll confess, I haven't killed him," Creus hung his head.

"I hate killing people," he wailed. "I have this terrible un-un-uncontrollable fear of blood. As a child I used to hate the sight of violence. My teacher said I was a fool. He said the only way to cure it was to become an Assassin." Creus grabbed Judgment by the front of his robes. "So I spent five awful years at the Assassins Guild in Ankh Morpork. Can you imagine what it's like? Killing the same dummies for five years?!

"I didn't want to be an Assassin, anyway," said Creus, letting go of Judgment's robes, removing the Dragon's St. Brigadine (which changed his hair back to its original color), and gazing off into the distance. "I wanted to be... a Holy Knight!" The Moon Knight and the Metal Knight came to see what was taking Judgment so long, stopping as they stared in surprise at the Assassin, turned into a Holy Knight replica, who stood before them.

"Spreading the God of Light's benevolence throughout the Kingdom of Forgotten Sound," said Creus, his eyes shining. "Fighting evil, forgiving sinners, slaying the undead, protecting the innocent." The other Holy Knights, even those from the good, warm faction, filtered into the clearing, falling spellbound to Creus' words. "The flash of Holy Light, the clang of sword-on-sword. With my comrades—" he drew Roland and Judgment away from the chorus—er, from the other Holy Knights, "—by my side," he continued. "we'd sing, sing... sing!"

When all else fails... do something stupid. Creus was an expert mage. He'd seen a siren once, during a UU field trip to the islands of the Circle Sea, and had learnt siren magic. Such sorcery (magic, mind you, not sourcery) allowed a mage to control people, provided they made sure to sing while using it. In fact, merely singing wasn't enough. To properly utilize siren song, one had to draw people in and make them part of the story being woven. If they realized what was going on, all control over them was lost.

By now, Creus was sure, the Dark Elf would have been long gone, and the Assassin knew better than to think the fat pig of a King would pay him for treachery, so he was going to deal a blow to his enemy's morale before leaving.

To betray and then flee was the act of a coward. But to betray and then manipulate your enemies before leaving in a flash of triumph... ah, that was an act with some style to it. Something his teacher had always instilled in him was vital.

So, Creus opened his mouth, and began to sing.

_"I'm a Holy Knight and I'm okay._

_"I sleep all night; I work all day!"_

The gathered Knights, save Roland and Judgment (whom Creus had merely paralyzed, knowing better than to humiliate the leaders), picked up on the chorus and repeated his words:

_"He's a Holy Knight and he's okay._

_"He sleeps all night and he works all day!"_

That was the beauty of siren magic. It put to sleep that part of people which allowed them to tell reality from fantasy. Not that this was anything new; in fact, there were even those who said that the tradition of performing musicals could be traced back to a particularly mischievous siren who had lived three centuries ago.

_"I kill undead. I eat my lunch. I help all that I see._

_"On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!_ " sang Creus

He wasn't particularly sure what all it was Holy Knights did, but Creus seemed to have made a good guess, as the chorus of Leaf, Blaze, Storm, Earth, Cloud, Metal, Moon, Stone, Ice, and Hell immediately repeated his words:

_"He kills undead. He eats his lunch. He helps all that he sees._

_"On Wednesdays he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea!"_

Then, to Creus' satisfaction, they went on to sing the chorus completely without his direction:

_"He's a Holy Knight and he's okay._

_"He sleeps all night. He works all day."_

'Well, that should be enough to get them good and mad', thought the Holy Assassin. Now, he just had to snap them out of it by making them realize what they were doing was ridiculous. And he had the perfect set of lyrics...

_"I kill undead. I skip and jump. I like to press wildflowers._

_"I put on women's clothing. And hang around in bars!"_

And they repeated it right back at him:

_"He kills undead. He skips and jumps. He likes to press wildflowers._

_"He puts on women's clothing and—hangs around in bars?_

_"He's a Holy Knight and he's okay._

_"He sleeps all night and he works all day!"_

Creus nearly laughed and ruined the whole thing. That last verse hadn't been ridiculous enough to break through the enchantment. Which meant the concept of a Holy Knight cross-dressing wasn't all that strange to them. He wondered which one of them was the transvestite.

Although, it was also possible that, so long as he added the obligatory 'kill undead' at the beginning, he could get them to say Holy Knights did any number of things they didn't actually do. 'Let's try it out, shall we?' thought Creus.

_"I kill undead. I wear high-heels, suspenders, and a bra._

_"I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear mama!"_

The Knights:

_"He kills undead, he wears high-heels, suspenders, and—a bra?"_

Finally, the siren spell broke, with a sound like the shattering of a crystal wineglass, and Creus, apprentice to History's Strongest Holy Assassin, fled into the woods, pursued relentlessly by the members of the cold, cruel faction.

And, for some reason, Leaf Knight as well.

Stealing one last glance back at the other Holy Knights, Creus couldn't help but think that the look on Roland's face was priceless.


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours later, after things had settled down, Roland Sun had been just about to retire for the night, when some light element magic shining in the forest caught his eye.

Curious, the Sun Knight headed off to investigate.

As he got closer, he saw that his quarry was a ball of light elements. When he approached closer still, the orb drifted off, away from him.

Wary, but more intrigued than off-put, Roland followed it.

After a few minutes, the sphere led him to a clearing, in which sat a man just about his own age, who had light hair, clear eyes, and a smile that made you want to shudder.

"Hello, Creus," said the Sun Knight.

"Roland!" exclaimed the Holy Assassin, genuinely happy. "It really is good to see you again!"

The Sun Knight couldn't help it; he smiled back.

"What on the Disc was that stunt you pulled back there?" Roland asked.

"Oh, that? I just didn't want to kill the prisoner," Creus shrugged, digging around in a bag he held. "Want some chocolate?" he asked, holding out a handful of sweets so Roland could choose between them.

"No thanks," he said. Creus, seeing his friend wasn't going to take one, popped all four candies into his mouth and chewed happily. Then, Roland spoke.

"Creus, you're an Assassin," he said, "and Dark Elves are evil. Everyone knows that."

Creus' eyes flashed. "Of course," he said, "Everyone knows Dark Elves are evil. Just like everyone knows Assassins are ruthless and dark, and sell loyalty to the highest bidder. Just like everyone knows that the Sun Knight is a gentle man with hardly a begrudging bone in his body, who, whatever your crimes, will definitely forgive you."

"All right," said Roland, holding up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, forget I said anything. Any Holy Knight could tell you that 'what everyone knows' is a pile of nonsense."

Creus laughed. "Roland, you really haven't changed." he said. "I'm glad."

"Same to you," said Roland.

And the hours ticked away unnoticed as the strong-willed, judgmental Sun Knight reminisced about old times with his sweets-loving, good-hearted, ruthless and manipulative Assassin friend.

* * *

Omake:

Later, Creus and Roland's conversation was still going, full-swing. There were some things they couldn't put into their letters, for fear they would get out and ruin their images as Assassin and Sun Knight respectively. Currently, they were discussing Creus' skills in magic, something that was nontraditional for an Assassin.

"So, you simultaneously attended the Unseen University and the Assassin's Guild for a few years, in addition to training at the monastery?" Roland was surprised. Creus had mainly written about his activities in the monastery, mentioning only that he had friends in the other two institutions.

"Yes," said Creus.

"Wasn't that a bit difficult to balance?"

"Not at all," he said. "No one attends class at the Unseen University. Rather, they avoid going to class. At any rate, I usually only take the courses Pink teaches, so I have an excuse to bother her."

"Didn't you write that women aren't allowed at the UU?" Roland was perplexed

"Well, technically, that's true," he shrugged, "but in order to enforce that rule, they'd have to find some way to make Pink actually leave. She likes it there. She's good friends with their Librarian, from what I understand. And the last professor who tried to evict her was attacked by a horde of eldritch abominations, summoned from the Dungeon Dimensions."

"What about the Assassin's Guild, then?" asked Roland

"They never take attendance," explained Creus. "After Lord Vetinari's memorable days as a student, it's become fashionable to disguise and conceal one's identity while attending class, making it impossible to tell who's present and who's absent."

"And the monastery?" asked Roland.

"I'm the Master Assassin's apprentice," said Creus. "They dug my grave years ago and are just waiting for me to fall into it. They don't count on me to do anything. It's nice."

"It certainly sounds that way," said a voice, which belonged neither to Creus nor to Roland.

The Holy Knight and the Assassin whirled around, only to see the very Dark Elf that Creus had earlier freed was standing before them.

"Peace, my friends," said the Dark Elf, whom everyone knew was evil, giving them a kind smile. "I merely wanted to thank you for sparing my life," he nodded to Creus. "Assassin," he said, "I am in your debt."

Roland could almost see Creus' eyes turn briefly into dollar signs, as his mind whirled to see what profit he could make from this turn of fortune.

"You really shouldn't have said that," said Roland Sun.

The Dark Elf continued smiling, "be that as it may, it's true. Though I must say," he said, looking at Creus. That song you used wasn't very believable. I'm surprised it worked."

"How would you know?" asked Roland, curiously.

"One of my best friends used to be a Holy Knight," explained Alistier.

"And he wasn't a transvestite?" asked Creus, who had a good idea just who the Dark Elf was referring to. Before he'd become a Holy Assassin, Neo had been one of the twelve Knight Captains.

The Dark Elf started to agree. However, he realized midway what he was doing and closed his mouth.

Alister frowned. "This proves nothing," he said.


End file.
